


Where Elves Go To Die

by Theimaginistress



Series: Middle Earth Drabbles [3]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Between The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, Death, Grief/Mourning, Hurt, I have not written for a while, Love, Mirkwood, Post-Hobbit, Tauriel/Kili - Freeform, aule - Freeform, post death, this is so bad, tolkienverse - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-13 05:09:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9107896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theimaginistress/pseuds/Theimaginistress
Summary: When Kíli dies, Tauriel grows cold, inside and outside.





	1. Perished

When the iron pierced his body, burst through his skin, his chest and all the bones within, she stopped thinking. She felt, more pure than she had ever done. It was not like only he had been pierced with the weapon, but she as well. 

She wanted to scream, but the only sound that came from her mouth was a strangled 'No'. She realised her protest meant nothing when she looked into Kíli's eyes. They were filled not with pain but with something else. Regret, a hope for a place where this was not reality. A place where they could be together until the end of his days. 

But they were not in that place. He shook his head as he took another ragged breath. His eyes did not leave hers, he wanted to say something, but he did not have the strength to do so. A tear formed in his eye, dripping down his cheek. He closed his eyes, and Tauriel could do nothing, other than be a spectator. 

She closed her eyes, whimpering, hoping that what she had just seen was not real. Bolg dropped his body, like it was nothing. Like he was a sack of grain or something with even less meaning. 

The pain of her body faded, made place for something far worse. It felt like every piece of sense she had exploded. The pain burst through her body, made her unable to move. She cried as she had not cried before. 

For a brief moment she doubted if it would matter if she got up and fought. She heard her heart beat in her chest, a newfound strength flowing through her blood. Aside from the pain, it was all she could feel. 

An new found anger forced her onto her feet, made her reach for her weapon. He matters, she thought, repeating it over and over in her head. He matters to me. 

Bolg strode closer to her. Her body moved on it’s own accord. She jumped, twirled around him. For a brief moment she saw his eyes, the evil in them. The evil that had killed the one she had loved. 

Somewhere in her twisting, her feet found solid rocks, something to push away from. She kicked, letting every piece of strength she had go. It sent both her and Bolg tipping over the edge. Tauriel flew, weightless for a moment. Her mind thought about whether this was what Kíli felt when he passed, when he died. 

~

Unaware of how it all happened, she found herself sitting aside Kíli’s body. His cheek was still wet with his tear, though uncharacteristically cold. His hand felt the same. Lifeless, not squeezing back as she held it. 

From the corner of her eye she saw Thranduil approach. She looked away, focussing on Kíli’s body. 

“They want to bury him,” Her voice broke the silence. She had stopped hearing the wind, had stopped hearing the sounds in the distance, celebrating the end of the short war. It had no meaning anymore. Not to her. 

“Yes,” Thranduil replied. 

“If this is love I do not want it,” She spoke, looking up. “Take it from me... please?”

She could not feel the tear streaming down her cheek, but she did see the way her kings eyes were filled with tears. She looked away, not wanting to see the pain in his eyes. 

“Why does it hurt so much?” Her voice sounded broken. She did not expect an answer, found herself surprised when Thranduil answered. 

“Because it was real.”

For one last time, she kissed Kílis lips, cherishing the way they felt against hers. It was a promise she thought. That she would find him again, and be with him until the end of light. 

~

She had travelled back to Mirkwood in the company of those who had come with her. Their numbers had lessened, though Tauriel cared not for the lives of the warriors they had lost on their behalf. 

Seated with the wounded, she looked at the grass along the road ahead. Would he be walking on such soft grass? Would he have found peace in the Halls of Aulë? Was he with his brother and uncle, and any other family members he had lost? 

It hurt Tauriel even more to know that she had known him so little, though so much in such a short time. 

In the cells her mind had betrayed her first. She had met him for the first time. The tallest and most handsome Dwarf she had seen in her life. He was not like the others, a made warrior shaped by his past. He was still pure, young and untouched. Protected from the world around him but not weak. 

He had been bold, meaningful. Her mind had taken her to a place where she was seated with him, a fire burning in the hearth. There would be bread and cheese on the table, as well as his feet. She would think about all of the stories she could tell him, all of the things she had learned and teach him. 

Then a spear tore her dream apart. It was gone, shattered into a million pieces she could not put together, no matter how much she wanted to. 

Tauriels fingers became cold, almost as cold as his had been. She looked at her hands, thinking that if maybe she had fought harder, had tried harder, Kíli would be in Erebor, with his kin, drinking and eating as much as his heart desired. Perhaps she would be there as well, drinking and being with them. 

“You are drowning,” Thranduil rode a horse beside her. His elk had been lost in the battle, she had heard from the whispers around her. “Think of the happy memories. Value them, cherish them. Do not let them be taken from you.” 

She looked at him, wondering why he was helping her. She had been banished, been nothing and then less, and now he was giving her advice. It meant she was forgiven.


	2. Home

The closer they came to Mirkwood, the colder Tauriel began to feel. Her skin felt like ice, no matter how much she tried to follow Thranduils advice. She tried to think of another happy memory she had of Kíli. 

She thought of when she had walked away from the cells, the disturbed feeling of a stranger meddling with her thoughts fresh in her mind. She was overwhelmed, more than that even. She had felt warm inside, more than she had ever done before. Like a warm fire had been lit within her heart. 

With the feeling of that warmness, she had climbed higher and higher, until all there was was the night’s sky. The stars that shone brighter than any other day of the year. She wanted him to see this as well, be there with her and just look at the stars and everything beyond. 

She closed her eyes, leaning against the tree. The scene started playing in front of her eyes. She imagined how he would have difficulty climbing up the tree, though he was not likely to admit it. Eventually they would be sitting where she was sitting, watching the stars from afar. 

She imagined how the stars would reflect in his dark eyes, an entire new galaxy forming within the brown darkness. She thought he would be silent, watching the stars as she did, hopefully seeing what she saw as well. 

Tauriel shivered, wondering whether Kíli would wrap his arms around her and hold her close to him. He was so much warmer than she was. He had been. 

In her memory his touch suddenly became cold, colder than ice. His eyes were closed, and when he opened them, the lights of the stars were no longer reflected. They looked dull. Dead. 

His hand rose, touched her cheek. For a moment she forgot to breathe. Everything stilled, the sky darkened until all that was left was an icy darkness, with all the light being sucked away. 

They had reached the entrance to the woods. The path went from a wobbly one, to a smoother one. The wheels of the carriage made less noise, everything seemed a little more peaceful. They came to a stop in front of the palace. The wounded were brought to the chambers for the ill, the ones who were in good health returned to their families to tell stories about the war. 

The ones who had died were brought to other chambers, where their families might say goodbye one more time. She wished she had gotten one last goodbye, and then another. If she could have a choice, she would say goodbye to him every day if it meant she could see him another time. 

“The king has summoned you,” A guard stood by her side, shortly stating his business before disappearing into one of the halls again. 

Tauriel waited for a moment, then decided to enter the great hall in which the Kings chair was standing. It had always looked big, but when she entered it looked even bigger. Perhaps it was because she felt so incredibly small. 

“Tauriel,” The king was not seated on his throne, nor was he wearing embellished robes as he usually did. The guards had been sent away, she thought. It was awfully quiet. “Give me your hands.” 

She did as she was told, holding out her hands for Thranduil to take and hold them. She thought his hands should have been warm, but she felt nothing as he held her hands. 

“You are cold,” His voice was filled with concern. “You should sleep.”

The words made sense. She was exhausted, but she was afraid that when she closed her eyes to sleep, all she would see was Kíli. Her eyes filled with tears again, making it hard to see what was going on. 

“Poor child,” His touch left her hands, his arms wrapped themselves around her. 

Tears streamed out of her eyes as she silently cried. She remembered how awful she had felt when Kíli had been on the verge of death. She remembered how she automatically said the words, the incantation that had helped save his life. She remembered how she was given the stone, as a promise. 

She closed her eyes, forcing the stream to stop. She imagined being able to take care of him when he was sick, a little less hurried than when she was forced to save his life after being shot with a black arrow. 

She could see him on the bed, cheeks red with a fever. She could hear him cough, struggle a little to catch his breath again. She would make him herbal tea, prepare him small meals and make sure he would get enough sleep. 

Tauriel could see herself lying down next to him, falling asleep in his arms. A place where she could feel safe, cherished and loved. She imagined how she would get sick as well, and Kíli taking care of her the exact way she had done. 

“Tauriel,” She could hear him speak to her. His voice was warm, comforting. For once her dream wasn’t shattered, but exactly as it was meant to be. She could feel her senses coming back to her, embracing her as Kílis arms wrapped around her. “You are safe.”

~

Thranduil had sat down on the ground, holding onto the body of the red headed elf. Once he had seen her as nothing but a guard, then she became a warrior, then he had started to see something in her that he had not seen within another for a long time. 

She had become a mutual, somebody who in a very short period of time had become the same as him. Where he had been blessed with a life with the person he loved, she had been separated from hers so quickly. 

He prayed, wishing she would find the same comfort in the people around her as he once had. Something within him told him that his prayers were of no use. 

Her body suddenly went limp, her chest stopped moving. Not only had her hands turned cold, her face was as well. She was with him, he thought, as he held her in his arms and stood up. Through the halls he carried her watching the people who watched him, almost daring them to say something about what he was doing. 

He brought her out into the gardens, gently let her down on one of the flowerbeds. Tauriel looked happy, more at ease than he had ever seen her before. 

“Take care of those who love fast and true, Aulë. Cherish them, and give them a place in your halls. She is yours now,” He placed her hands on her stomach and looked at her one last time. She was home.

**Author's Note:**

> It has been so damn long (excuse my language) since I have written anything at all. So please excuse if this is bad in any way. Reactions are welcome! x


End file.
